I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
