i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize