This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I will pee on everything he values.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
