So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize