State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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