omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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