They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
It all started with a game of naked twister.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
