In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
