peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
