weddingsv make me drug and hornr
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
