idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize