I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
