a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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