and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
