Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
