did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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