Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
