C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
