If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
