He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
