i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
