Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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