I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
My cat gives me a boner
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
