hell yes lets make some ravioli
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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