It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
