i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
