First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
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