My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
please come you make the beer taste better
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
