I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
