I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
