That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
