she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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