16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
