oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
