girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
