Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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