i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
