8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
