So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Randomize
