Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
