I'm so fucking centered right now
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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