Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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