her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
She even gives head with a lisp.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
