can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
where am i from again
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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