drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Sext me about skeletons
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
