the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
