Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
