come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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