Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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