i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize
