I just cut my nipple shaving
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
