yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
These tits shall not be calmed
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
