just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Just puked most of my soul out..
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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