After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
