My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
