shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
