we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
