I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
How's work?
Spinning.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize