glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
