When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
