Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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