i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I can tuck mytits in my pants
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
