I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
bring money and cleavage
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
