i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
