Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
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