Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
